Life, Love, and Family

What have I learned this year?

This question has been floating in an out of my head for the past few months, and I just laugh at all I thought I knew.

Before I was blessed with Austin, I thought my world could be complete being married to the man of my dreams. Our plan had always been to have 2 children, and for those of you that know me, you know how I LOVE to plan. We planned when we would start a family, and stayed right on track. As the time drew near for Austin to join our family I started freaking out. 9 months pregnant, irrational, scared, and looking at HUGE change right in the face, I kept asking Michael, "Are you sure we want kids, I am not sure we need them. Aren't we happy just the 2 of us?" He laughed and told me it was a little late for that...clearly. I would love to say that the moment Austin entered our lives, my mind changed, but it didn't. I suffered from a minor bout of postpartum depression, and it took me about 8 weeks until Austin became my entire world.

This was my first lesson. Love.

The love that children bring into our lives is like none a person could ever describe or replicate. I can not put into words the love that I have for my son. He is my world, my life, and the best gift I could ever be given.

The next lesson came with a change I made in my career. I thought that a move closer to home would make such great sense. I left a wonderful school, and took a position that seemed great. This year I have struggled to finish the year with a smile. Change is always hard.

Lesson two: You never know what you have until it is gone.

The final lesson (at least that I will tell you about) is the biggest of all. Michael and I decided to try for baby #2 this past summer. When it didn't happen within our "window", I said that I was tired of planning so much, and we should just let it happen. Boy oh boy, did I say more than I bargined for. We tried for nearly 7 months, and finally in March we found out we were expecting. We were thrilled, the timing wouldn't be great, right in the middle of the school year, but we finally had the finishing touch to our perfect family.

It was about 6 weeks after we found out that we were expecting that we sat in the Dr. office for our first prenatal appointment. As the ultrasound began I was desperate to see a heartbeat. The first flutter of a heartbeat was all I needed. I was over the moon, and Michael was fixated on how big the baby was. The Dr. kept repeating "baby?" everytime one of us mentioned something new about the baby. After about the 10th time she mentioned it, I looked at the ultrasound monitor with fresh ebey and nearly fell off the table. Sure enough, clear as day, was 2 very distinct babies. Twins! Wait twins?!? That's right, we were shocked. The Dr. truely seemed to enjoy how overwhelmed we were, but was great at letting us sit and soak it all in. A month went by before we got over the shock, total life change, and sheer extent of it. Now we are thrilled, and can not wait for our twins to join our family.

Final Lesson: Plan all you want, the Lord has plans too, and his will always trump yours!